My Quest to Reclaim Christmas

I used to love Christmas.  As soon as the Thanksgiving plates were cleared, I was in full Christmas mode. Queuing up the Christmas music, playing carols on the piano.  The hustle and the bustle of the stores, the beautiful lights.  The cold, crisp air.  Oh, the magic of it all!

Then I got married and had kids.

It seemed as every year went by, the stress of the holiday season became greater and greater.  It started as soon as Ken and I got married.  Trying to juggle each other’s family traditions and finding time for them all proved quite complicated.  Every year involved a huge discussion deciding just how our time would be split up between our families.  And it didn’t just affect our own families—the domino effect of all the extended family involved made scheduling the holidays a near impossibility.  Tensions would rise on every side.  I would inevitably end up having a huge meltdown.  Usually on the way over to whoever won the coin toss that year.  Three years into our marriage Ken exclaimed, “It’s not Christmas unless Jen is crying!”  (Nice.)  (But also true.)

When the kids came along, I was spending Christmas Eve driving all over Northern Illinois, kids (and all their stuff) in tow.  I spent all day (and night) making sure the kids were not breaking anything, were behaving, not eating all the cookies.  At two a.m., when the last present was opened (yes, one at a time!), I was a hot mess.  My husband was a hot mess.  The kids were a hot mess.  This sucked.

Then when we arrived home, I would set out a mountain of toys out from Santa, and Ken would spend an eternity putting together all the last minute big-ticket items.  (Think play kitchens, tricycles, wagons, Scooby-Doo Mansions.)  I would help (usually by falling asleep on the couch).  Finally off to bed by five, the kids would awake two hours later, eager to see the fruits of Santa’s visit.  I loved to see them so excited, don’t get me wrong.  But ten minutes in, even they didn’t want to open up any more presents.  And I would be looking at the clock, rushing them along.  After all, whatever family lost the coin toss yesterday was coming over today.  I would have a dinner to prepare, with all the trimmings.  All the gifts from yesterday and from Santa needed to be put away.  (Because my house would NOT be a mess!!) A new set of holiday dresses, and yes, more presents.

I began to loathe Christmas.  I would see the decorations in the store after Halloween (really, isn’t that a little early?) and a feeling of dread would come over me.  Immediately the lists would start forming in my head—pictures need to be taken of the girls for Christmas cards, teachers’ gifts, family lists, what to get my mom, all the holiday parties, menus, cookies… Everything that I had loved about Christmas was gone, and all that remained was panic.

Last year, I had enough.  After a rough year of job changes and long hours, I was mentally incapable of dealing with the holiday drama.  If it were not for my kids, I would not have even put up the tree.  I told Ken, we will go to one house on Christmas Eve.  We will have the other set of grandparents for an uncomplicated meal late on Christmas Day.  No one else.  With no huge obligations to speak of on Christmas Day, we stayed in our pajamas until noon.  We hung out!  We relaxed!  The kids actually played with the toys they received!  I think I might be on to something here…

This year I am taking it further.  I’m on a quest to reclaim Christmas!  Those moments of magic were getting buried under all the, well, crap.  Too many presents.  Too much trying to jam it all in and missing everything that’s important about Christmas.  I know I can’t change all of it.  But I can make it better.  I can stop buying my kids piles of presents, and just get a few, meaningful ones.  I can stop trying to do everything, and just do a few things….really well.  I can pause and make sure we are spending time together as a family, whether it’s enjoying a meal together or doing a craft with the kids.  I can take a deep breath and look around and enjoy it all.  I’m going to get that magic back! 

So join me this holiday season as I explore simple ways to put the meaning back into Christmas.  We’ll do some crafts, we’ll make some homemade gifts, we’ll save some money, and we will certainly have some delicious food.  Hopefully by the end, the merry will be back in Christmas, and the bah humbug out!

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